Just like everybody and they mama, I have opinions. I don't know why anyone in particular would be interested in my opinions. I mean, I don't care about your opinion. So why would you care about mine?
But I am entrenched daily in the media. I see the right get fake outraged over the left. And I see the left get fake outraged on the right. And then I watch as the media blows all of it out of proportion.
Being able to see thru all the contrivedness (no that isn't a word) to what is actually interesting, entertaining, and important is what I'm good at. I think it's a talent, but it probably isn't.
I'm a liberal on some stuff, a conservative on others. It depends on the issue. I MAKE A DECISION ON EACH INDIVIDUAL ISSUE LIKE ANY NORMAL, INTELLIGENT, RATIONAL HUMAN BEING.
Anyone who is all right or all left is DUMB. And anyone who thinks the "other side" of what they believe is somehow "wrong" is also DUMB. It's all opinion.
Oh, and if you're against gay marriage, you're a bigot. And if you don't believe in legalization of marijuana, you're an idiot. And if you disagree with me on anything, you're WRONG.
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Subject: Opening a business in Chicago
Hello: I'm very interested in opening a business in your beautiful city and have a couple of questions and requests.
If it's not too much trouble, could you please send me the official list of political and social opinions that I must hold in order to open a business in Chicago.
It's recently become clear that merely expressing an "incorrect" opinion could lead to me being barred from doing business there...or at least having to fight Mayor Emmanuel’s disapproval every step of the way. It's hard enough to start a business and create jobs without that kind of resistance! I'm sure you understand.
I would just try to guess which opinions the government requires that I hold, but in a recent case, you folks made clear that an opinion held by half of Americans was completely unacceptable. Guessing which other opinions the government doesn't permit would be tough! In the case I alluded to (involving the folks from Chick-fil-A) the "illegal" opinion was the same one held by the President of the United States until very recently.
Perhaps you could put out a "government-approved beliefs" newsletter on a regular basis so no one engaged in unacceptable speech or thought. Those who repeatedly expressed views contrary to the government could be given special training and re-education so that they wouldn't make silly mistakes anymore!
Again, thanks for your assistance. I look forward to being in compliance with all acceptable beliefs so that I will be permitted to earn a living.
Regards, Joe Getty
Name: Joe Getty
Email Address: firstname.lastname@example.org
Organization: American Citizen
Today's Date: 07/26/2012